happy New Year

I am sitting at the computer watching my one year old daughter play on the floor. She goes over to the couch and talks to the kitty, then back to the toybox to pull out some more things. She likes to play with the big lego blocks. I can tell she knows they fit together, even though she doesn't have the physical ability yet to build towers. She taps them together. I watch her potential. Babies are such wonderful pictures of potential, of future. She was born on the first day of the year, you know, and has been a little barometer of the years passage to me.

So are any of you (my imaginary audience) making resolutions for the new year? Part of me feels like it is a very silly idea. I mean, why pick an arbitrary line in time and make promises to yourself that you know will be broken possibly even before the month is out. But on the other hand, its a lovely optimistic feeling to look ahead at the new year as a kind of clean slate, never been marked, where we can do better, put hurts behind us, and be the kind of person we want to be. In that spirit, I have thought of some things. In no order whatsoever, here they are.
In this new year, I will grow in my relationship with my Heavenly Father. Actually, this is probably not something that needs to be set as a goal, because I love Him and He loves me and I want to talk to Him all the time and hear what He says and this naturally leads to a deeper closeness.
I hope to be a better Mother to my babies this year. They are such amazing gifts, and I want to always remember that and treat them as such. I want to be more patient, more like Jesus to them. I want them to understand God's love a little bit by my example.
This year, I want to be the wife my husband needs. My heart longs for closeness with him, to truly feel connected. I need to learn and accept my failings, and somehow do better. I desperately need my Father's help.
In 2010, I will be more deliberate in my day to day life. More deliberate in my interactions with my family, more deliberate in my walk with God.
I will take better care of myself this year. I will acknowledge my own needs, and realize that I can better care for others when my own tank is full. This means getting a hair cut once in a while, or a pedicure, or a trip to the museum. Anything that leaves me feeling refreshed.

This past year has been one of the hardest for me. I know I have grown as a person, but so often growth only comes with pain, or so it seems at least. But I am so grateful as well. Some wonderful blessings came to me in 2009; my dear daughter, a wonderful church group, new depth in friendships, and a heavier leaning on Jesus.

Well, I know this may have been more personal than you were expecting. I hope you were not uncomfortable. ;) I have never been very good at facades, so as always, it is what it is!

I hope you are looking forward to your new year as I am, with an optimistic heart and faith in your heavenly Father's love.